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- Cape Town, South Africa
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Bits of advice from others..........
12 SECRETS TO HAPPINESS:
- Admit errors
- Avoid mistakes
- Listen to advice
- Keep your temper
- Shoulder the blame
- Make the best of things
- Maintain high standards
- Think first and act accordingly
- Put the needs of others before your own.
THE 5 HEALTH BENEFITS OF LAUGHTER:
- It stimulates a mild to moderate cardiovascular workout.
- It produces endorphins, which counteract the production of stress hormones.
- It appears to optimize the immune system.
- It reduces self-consciousness and boosts self-confidence.
- It relaxes muscles and decreases muscle tension.
SOME GOOD ADVICE
(probably from an old Ann Landers' column)
- Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk with. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other will.
- Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- When you say, "I love you," mean it.
- When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
- In disagreements: fight fairly. No name-calling.
- Don't judge people by their relatives.
- Talk slowly, but think quickly.
- When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask "Why do you want to know?"
- Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk
- Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
- When you lose, don’t lose the lesson
- Remember the three R's:
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions
- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
- Spend some time alone.
MATURITY (definitely from an Ann Landers' column)
- is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence
- is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of long-term gain
- is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set backs
- is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint or collapse
- is being big enough to say "I was wrong" and when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying "I told you so"
- is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then doing nothing
- means dependability, keeping one's word and coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are confused and conflicted. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize
- is the art of living in peace with what we cannot change, the courage to change what should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.
- accepting responsibility for the consequences of actions;
- deciding on personal beliefs and values independently of parents or other influences;
- achieving financial independence from parents;
- becoming less self-oriented, and developing greater consideration for others;
- avoiding drunk driving.
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't, it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost, for out in the world we find success begins with a person's will;
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you're outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster person;
But sooner or later the person who wins Is the one who thinks they can.
- Walter Wintle
Critical questions before marrying
Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
- Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
- Do we have a clear idea of each other's financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
- Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
- Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
- Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
- Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
- Will there be a television in the bedroom?
- Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another's ideas and complaints?
- Have we reached a clear understanding of each other's spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
- Do we like and respect each other's friends?
- Do we value and respect each other's parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
- What does my family do that annoys you?
- Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
- If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other's family, are we prepared to move?
- Do each of us feel fully confident in the other's commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face
Want to improve in-law relations in your family?
If you are a parent of a daughter, be open to bonding with your son-in-law. You are probably from different generations and backgrounds, but you can still find common ground. It will make your daughter happy to see this man is a cherished member of her family. Be practical, though. A father- and son-in-law will rarely be as tight knit as a father and son.
Parents of a son, tread carefully. Your daughter-in-law is probably more sensitive to meddling than a son-in-law would be. She may perceive interference when none was intended. Or maybe you were intruding a bit.
If you are a wife, be aware of the need to maintain boundaries with your in-laws—especially when sharing details about your marriage, parenting decisions or personal issues. Reassure your in-laws that you want a close and loving relationship, but learn to say no. If conflict arises, ask your husband for help settling it.
If you are a husband, treat your in-laws as special and important. Remember that when you care for them, your wife feels you are caring for her.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Apparently (but incorrectly) ascribed to the late George Carlin
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
by Erma Bombeck
Perhaps a little dated and may not be quite politically correct, but certainly worthwhile thinking about. It was written after she found out she was dying from cancer.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' and more 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute look at it and really see it. Live it and never give it back. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF
...............and it's mostly all small stuff
...............and it's mostly all small stuff